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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22622329">too many war wounds and not enough wars (i give my love a four-letter name)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/blackrose1002/pseuds/blackrose1002'>blackrose1002</a>, <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlackVultures/pseuds/BlackVultures'>BlackVultures</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>MacGyver (TV 2016)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst with a Happy Ending, Episode Tag, Episode: s01e12 Screwdriver, First Kiss, Getting Together, Gunshot Wounds, Hurt/Comfort, Idiots in Love, Love Confessions, M/M, Mutual Pining, Pining, Truth Serum</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-02-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-02-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-04-28 08:35:32</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>5,077</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22622329</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/blackrose1002/pseuds/blackrose1002, https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlackVultures/pseuds/BlackVultures</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>And then Patty would kill Jack, and who would protect Mac? Mac with his big brain, and his bright smile, and all that soft-looking blond hair… whoops, he wasn’t supposed to think about that. And he definitely wasn’t supposed to think about how blue and beautiful Mac’s eyes were, and how much… <i>nope</i>, not thinking about it.</p>
<p>It was hard not to, because Mac was the prettiest thing Jack had ever seen…</p>
<p>(Tag to 1x12 with a twist: what if Mac had gotten shot through the door when he came to rescue Jack in the cold open?)</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Jack Dalton/Angus MacGyver (MacGyver TV 2016)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>152</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>too many war wounds and not enough wars (i give my love a four-letter name)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/N1ghtshade/gifts">N1ghtshade</a>.</li>



    </ul><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Hey guys! This is a oneshot for the incredibly sweet and talented <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/N1ghtshade/pseuds/N1ghtshade">N1ghtshade</a>, who prompted me with this idea a LONG time ago. <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/blackrose1002/pseuds/blackrose1002">blackrose1002</a> and I wrote this a while back and I wanted to post it for her birthday, then for Christmas, but things just didn't work out and I couldn't get it put together and edited until now. The concept is very simple: what if Mac had gotten shot through the door when he came to rescue Jack in the 1x12 cold open? Well in this world, hurt/comfort and MacDalton ensues. ;) Any mistakes are my own, and please leave a comment if you enjoy this fic!</p>
<p>(Title is from "Irresistible" by Fall Out Boy.)</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Sodium pentothal was a helluva drug, even if Jack was so high that he couldn’t spell it if somebody paid him. He’d sat through countless CIA briefings on supposed “truth serums” in his time, along with a lecture from Mac on how to resist it that was more useful than anything the government had put together… but he was starting to feel it. He was drowsy and nauseous, sweat pouring out of his everything, and as much fun as singing and dancing was when he was tied to a chair with a needle in his arm, if Mac didn’t come to get him soon he’d crack like an egg.</p>
<p>And then Patty would kill Jack, and who would protect Mac? Mac with his big brain, and his bright smile, and all that soft-looking blond hair… whoops, he wasn’t supposed to think about that. And he definitely wasn’t supposed to think about how blue Mac’s eyes were and how they were the most beautiful eyes Jack had ever seen, and how much… <em>nope</em>, not thinking about it.</p>
<p>It was hard not to, because Mac was the prettiest thing Jack had ever seen…</p>
<p>His train of thought was interrupted by the door opening and the dude they’ve been trying to stop stepping inside. He was confident judging by the smirk on his face and then he started asking questions… and Jack answered them despite himself. Not good, Mac needed to hurry up or this guy would get everything he wanted. Time moved weirdly thanks to the drugs, and the more that dripped into Jack’s system the less clear his mind became.</p>
<p>The next thing Jack could really focus on were the loud, repetitive bangs of gunfire from close by… the sounds of a skirmish outside the door, and blood seeping underneath it. Lots of blood, although it was hard to tell how much was too much with Jack’s vision doubling and wavering. But… but Mac was coming to get him, wasn’t he? And there was blood? Did that mean… was Mac… no, he couldn’t be dead, not without Jack dying first, that wasn’t how this worked.</p>
<p>As if in answer to his prayers the door opened and Mac came in, shaking out his right fist—the kid had never liked punching people, nor was he very good at it. His left hand… his left hand held a spot on his right side, one that had a wet maroon patch growing around it by the second. Jack stared at him for… he wasn’t sure how long, seconds, minutes? Mac stumbled in his direction, free hand pawing at the needle stuck in Jack’s arm, and that was when Jack suddenly understood what he saw.</p>
<p>“You’re hurt,” Jack mumbled, reaching out to touch Mac… and when did his hands get free from the ropes? “Mac, kid, you got shot,” he added with wide eyes, looking Mac over and noting the knife in his hand—oh, that was how the ropes went away—and then he looked at his face and needed to concentrate to understand what he was saying.</p>
<p>“Come on, Jack,” Mac said, winded and pained. “We need… to go.”</p>
<p>“But you’re hurt,” Jack repeated, a little louder this time, grunting when Mac used both his hands to grasp the front of Jack’s shirt and haul him out of the chair. That meant he was no longer putting pressure on the wound and Jack could see where a bullet tore through his jacket and shirt.</p>
<p>Mac had to lock his knees and support Jack while he found his feet, and he chuckled dryly at Jack’s observation. “Yeah, I’m hurt all right, big guy,” he confirmed, tone deliberately gentle, but Jack heard him grinding his molars together. He was so close that Jack saw the little freckles that dotted the bridge of his perfect nose and the slope of his cheeks. “But we need to get out of here, okay? You think you can walk? Because I’m not—” Jack swayed and Mac had to steady him, clamping down on a pained noise “—really in shape to carry you.”</p>
<p>“You’d carry me if you could?” Jack asked, a slow smile spreading on his lips. “That’s so sweet.” He saw Mac roll his eyes but also made out tight lines of pain in his face, and it managed to clear up the fog in his brain. “I’ll walk, I can walk,” he said, forcing himself to concentrate on taking a few steps and not falling down. Mac gripped his arm to keep him steady and slowly they made their way out of the room. “Hey, hey, Mac,” Jack said as Mac dragged him… somewhere. “How bad is it, hoss?”</p>
<p>“It’s… pretty bad,” Mac said, with a hesitation that suggested he was going to downplay the injury but decided against it… which meant it was <em>bad</em>. “The bullet’s still in there.”</p>
<p>Jack felt himself blanch and he threw out an arm to the wall to keep himself upright, trying to put the least amount of weight on Mac. “Exfil… do we have exfil?”</p>
<p>“Yeah, but it’s not around the corner.” Mac grunted as he shouldered open a door and suddenly they were outside—it was hot and gross, the sun just barely starting to set. “We need to steal a vehicle and drive there, and I don’t know which one of us would be worse at operating a vehicle right now.”</p>
<p>“I’ll… I’ll drive,” Jack said, rubbing his eyes and blinking.</p>
<p>Mac needed rest and Jack would be damned if he let him do more than absolutely necessary. Concern for him and the fear of Mac… of Mac dying helped him concentrate, and besides, his condition would only improve with time, while Mac’s… as much as Jack hated to admit it, he knew Mac would only get worse if he didn’t get him to exfil soon. They found a car, some kind of old sedan, and Mac used his Swiss Army Knife to get inside and hotwire the engine. He did all of this with a hole in his side that was still bleeding, and when he stood up to go around to the passenger’s side he almost fell down.</p>
<p>Jack caught him, of course he did, one arm locking around Mac’s waist while his other hand came up to palm his cheek. It was more contact than Jack would normally allow himself, but he was still doped up and Mac was injured. “Hey, hey, stay with me hoss. Can’t do this without you.” He didn’t just mean getting to exfil, but in general—he couldn’t live without Mac—but Mac couldn’t find out about that.</p>
<p>The kid blinked slowly and leaned into Jack’s touch before he nodded slowly. “Yeah, yeah, I’m here,” he muttered, and with Jack’s help he got into the passenger’s seat.</p>
<p> On his way to the driver’s side Jack slapped himself hard enough that it stung—he couldn’t fuck up, not with Mac in the car. He climbed behind the wheel and pulled on to the nearest road, then remembered something. “Shit, did you grab a—”</p>
<p>“Yep,” Mac said, holding out a handgun butt first.</p>
<p>He had his left hand clamped over the wound to his side, and his complexion had gone a little milky for Jack’s taste. This was starting to remind him too much of Lake Como, where Mac got shot and fell in the water and he was so damn pale when Jack found him that he thought for sure he was dead. Mac was dead and it was Jack’s fault, he didn’t see Nikki’s betrayal coming, let her get too close to him and his boy—but no, Mac wasn’t <em>his</em>, he was his own person.</p>
<p>The gun was in his lap and his hands were on the wheel and Jack didn’t even realize he was hyperventilating until he felt Mac’s hand on his arm, squeezing tightly. “Jack, hey, you need to calm down. The last thing we need is you having a heart attack.”</p>
<p>Mac’s voice was strained and it only made Jack feel worse, but he took a deep, shaky breath, trying to get his shit together. He realized Mac was squeezing his arm rhythmically so he matched his breathing to that and after a moment he felt his pulse slow down a little.</p>
<p>“There you go,” Mac murmured, taking his hand away.</p>
<p>Jack tried not to think about how he missed the touch and focused on the road. “Mac, you’ve gotta talk to me, man. It’ll keep you awake and me focused.”</p>
<p>Mac chuckled weakly. “Have I ever told you how much I hate it when you’re right?” he asked, his voice teasing and… <em>fond</em>, or maybe that was wishful thinking on Jack’s part. “Okay, uh, what should I talk about? I’m not as good at rambling as you are—oh! You know how I’m fixing up my grandfather’s bike?” When Jack nodded, moving his sweaty palms on the wheel, Mac continued, “I was going to make it a surprise, but in case… in case we don’t get to exfil in time, I want you to know… it’s yours once I’m done.”</p>
<p>“What?” Jack’s eyes widened and if he wasn’t so focused on driving he would’ve looked at Mac. “What… why would you do that?” he asked, his voice full of surprise and wonder. Mac loved his grandfather so much, it made no sense for him to give something so precious—the only thing he had to remember him by—to Jack. “Man, you—you can’t do that, that’s your grandfather’s bike. I know how much it means to you.”</p>
<p>Mac huffed out an amused sound. “Jack, do you honestly see me riding a motorcycle? Like, ever? You know how much I hate driving.” He shrugged a little—Jack wasn’t looking but he heard the creak of his jacket—and then winced like the gesture pained him. He also pulled out his phone to check their location against the exfil coordinates. The blood had soaked into his jeans when Jack risked a glance over, and it coated the seat too. “Besides, you… you mean a lot to me too. Take a right up here.”</p>
<p>Jack choked up and had to swallow around the lump in his throat to speak. “Thanks, man,” he said quietly, ignoring the way his heart jumped. He knew Mac didn’t mean what he said in the way Jack wanted him to, but that was okay. “I’m… I’ll take good care of it, I promise.”</p>
<p>“I know you will,” Mac said, and his words slurred. Jack reached over blindly and touched the side of Mac’s head with his fingers, carding some of his ridiculously floppy hair behind his ear. The touch seemed to keep him grounded and he didn’t lean away from it. “We should… we’re almost there. I can hear the jet.” Jack could too if he concentrated, and he maybe put his foot down harder on the gas pedal. He didn’t like how Mac’s words kept lilting, like he was forgetting how words worked.</p>
<p>“Just stay with me, okay?” Jack asked, tugging on Mac’s hair a little when he felt his head loll.</p>
<p>“Jack, I’m…” Mac mumbled, but didn’t finish, talking too much effort.</p>
<p>That wasn’t good, because even when they got to the jet, it wouldn’t solve all their problems. Jack would have to keep Mac alive until he could get him to a hospital.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>~***~</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Several hours later found Jack slumped in an uncomfortable chair in the OR waiting room at Landstuhl Regional Medical Center in Germany. Operated overseas by the US Army, it was a place Jack spent a fair share of time when he’d been seriously wounded, or when he’d sat at the bedside of good friends in bad shape. It was also the closest friendly hospital with the most advanced medical care, and while the Phoenix pilot had gotten them there in record time… Jack was still waiting for news on Mac.</p>
<p>He was covered in Mac’s blood, everything from his chest to his knees stained red from putting pressure on the wound. Thankfully the last of the drugs seemed to be out of Jack’s system, and a nurse had stopped by with a cup of coffee for a while ago, promising to be back with news as soon as she had it. He had called Patty as soon as they got there, updating her on everything that happened since they took off. She didn’t say much, she never did, and since Jack wasn’t in the mood to talk the call was pretty short.</p>
<p>And now he was stuck here alone, waiting for news, feeling like he had a huge hole in his chest instead of his heart. Mac hadn’t gotten this badly hurt since Lake Como and it never got easier, being the one in the waiting room while Mac was in the OR. If he could, he’d take all the bullets for Mac, no question there, and he knew this was his fault—Mac got hurt trying to rescue <em>him</em>, after all.</p>
<p>He’d been stuck in a spiral of self-hatred ever since he put his ass in the chair, and the thing that snapped him out of it was the same nurse from earlier approaching him. “Agent Dalton?”</p>
<p>“Please, call me Jack,” he said, pushing himself to his feet. Every inch of his body ached, but he was sure it was nothing compared to the pain Mac was in. “How is he?”</p>
<p>To his relief, the nurse smiled at him. “He’s going to be fine—you got him here just in time. The bullet pierced his gallbladder, which had to be removed, and we needed to lavage his organs to clean up all the blood and bile. We also had to take out a small portion of his liver that was damaged. That was why he was bleeding so badly, it was a very blood-rich organ.” She gestured for him to walk so Jack did, following her down several plain-looking corridors. “He has a midline incision, which means he’s going to be laid up for a while. We have him on some decent painkillers right now, but he’s awake and asking for you.”</p>
<p>Jack’s heart clenched when he heard that, and the nurse led him to a small room. With one last smile she left while Jack lingered in the doorway. He forced himself to push all the guilt away, not wanting Mac to notice, and after taking one last deep breath he stepped inside. Mac was indeed awake, hooked up to the machines near his bed, and he looked so small and so much younger than he was. He was incredibly pale, his blue eyes standing out even more than usual, but his sharp gaze was clouded by all the drugs they were pumping into him.</p>
<p>When he saw Jack there was a delayed reaction, but then Mac reached out his hand in his direction. It had an IV taped to the back of it, and when Jack sat down next to the bed he was careful to only hold Mac’s fingers. He blinked at Jack slowly, once, then again, and as his fingers squeezed Jack’s hand he asked a question that almost made Jack break down in tears: “Are you okay?”</p>
<p>Jack made a choked sound and ducked his head. “Yeah, Mac, I’m just fine,” he managed, his voice cracking only a little. “It’s not me you should be worried about.”</p>
<p>Mac looked at him with an odd expression, tilting his head like a confused puppy—and goddammit, why was that adorable? “I’m okay, Jack,” Mac said with a small smile, probably also thanks to the drugs.</p>
<p>“But you aren’t,” Jack whispered, and he couldn’t help the way his voice trembled, or his hands. They were both shaking slightly, and he saw the moment Mac noticed because his eyes got huge. “You… you almost… I have your blood all over me, Mac. They had to take out parts of you and wash all your organs…” The tears welling in Jack’s eyes would leave no matter how much he willed them away, and he used the heel of his free hand to rub at them when they started falling. “I thought I lost you. Over a bad guy and some fucking truth serum.”</p>
<p>Mac frowned and shifted so that Jack wasn’t just holding his fingers but his entire hand. He squeezed, harder than Jack expected considering his condition, but it didn’t stop the shaking. “Jack, this… this isn’t your fault,” Mac said slowly, blinking a few times, clearly trying to gather his thoughts. “You saved me. If it wasn’t for you, I’d be dead.”</p>
<p>Jack carefully settled his thumb along the ridges of Mac’s knuckles so he didn’t disturb the IV. “I know that Mac, but I also know I’m the one who supposed to do the rescuing in this relationship,” he said, unable to help the frustration and heartache that leak into his voice. “You almost died for <em>me</em>, that’s not how this is supposed to work. Patty barely said two words to me on the phone when I told her what happened—I’ll be lucky if I have a job when we get back to the States.”</p>
<p>Mac’s eyes got huge again and he winced when he tried to sit up. “Jack, what? No way.” He ignored Jack’s protests and eventually managed to sit up, shifting closer to the edge of the bed and Jack. “If she fires you, I’m quitting—hey, I’m talking now,” he said, glaring fondly at Jack when he opened his mouth to argue. “Jack, you watch my back, but I also watch yours. It’s been like that since the Sandbox. I’d never leave you behind.”</p>
<p>Jack sensed this was not an argument he could win, but that didn’t mean he was suddenly guilt free. “I know that,” he said quietly, “and I’m grateful for it, I am. Especially because…” <em>I’m so in love with you it hurts</em>, he finished mentally, but of course he couldn’t say it out loud. “Because I’ve done a lot of bad shit, Mac. There aren’t many people who’d be willing to put it all on the line for an old spook like me, and I appreciate that.” He held up his free hand when Mac opened his mouth to protest, smiling a little. “It’s my turn. I just… the world needs you, Mac. And I’d hate to be the reason… if I was the reason you weren’t around anymore, it’d ruin me.”</p>
<p>“Yeah, well, I don’t care about the world without you in it,” Mac said, and then his eyes widened as if he didn’t mean to say that for some reason. “Besides, even if I had died today…” Jack couldn’t help but flinch at that, but Mac kept going. “If I died today, it wouldn’t have been your fault. You wouldn’t have been the reason for that.” He glanced down at their hands and when he looked up, there was something vulnerable in his eyes. “Did you even stop to think how <em>I</em> would feel if I lost <em>you</em>? Do you have any idea how much I fucking <em>need</em> you?”</p>
<p>That made Jack sit back, because… no, he’d never thought of that. “No, I… I always figured I was the codependent one,” he admitted. “You know, the clingy guy who talks too loud and always tries to make you laugh because I’m afraid I’m never good enough to stick with.” It was Jack’s turn for his eyes to widen, because he didn’t mean to say that, but it was out and he couldn’t take it back. He cleared his throat, watching Mac carefully to see if he was overstepping. “I need you just as much. Sometimes you’re the only thing keeping me sane.”</p>
<p>Mac squeezed his hand again. “Jack, I’m… you’re so important to me. I thought you knew that. I know I suck at interacting with people, but I thought… I never told you, but I thought I made it clear anyway.” Jack was speechless and staring, and Mac… now that he’d started, he kept going. “You’re more than enough, Jack. You never have to worry about that, it’s… I’m usually the one that people leave behind.”</p>
<p>“But why?” The question was out before Jack could stop it. “You’re so damn smart, and funny as hell, and you make talking about the most boring stuff seem fun. You’re… you’re an extraordinary person, Mac, there’s nobody else like you. Why is that so hard for people to cope with? For me it’s as easy as breathin’.” Mac was staring now too, like he’d never seen Jack before, and a sick feeling bubbled up in Jack’s stomach and now he <em>knew</em> he’d said too much, gotten too close to the truth.</p>
<p>Mac blinked and his eyes went distant. “It’s because I’m either too smart, or too clingy, or too weird.”</p>
<p>Jack listened in horror to that list, and it sounded… rehearsed, like someone actually told Mac that and he was just repeated it. He forgot for a moment about the fear of revealing too much and instead was blinded by rage and the urge to hunt down anyone who ever hurt Mac like that. “Who told you that?” he growled, and without conscious thought his hand came up to touch Mac’s cheek. “Because anyone who says you’re too smart is obviously insecure, and if I’m not too clingy then there’s no way in hell you are.” He took several deep breaths and made himself pull his hand away from Mac’s face. “Anybody who calls you weird from now on is gonna have a real big wakeup call from me.”</p>
<p>Mac looked at him with wide eyes, shock written all over his face. “I’m… lots of people have told me that,” he admitted quietly, looking away from Jack to their entwined hands. “Even… even Niki mentioned a few times that I should tone it all down a bit. You say I’m weird all the time, but… I don’t mind it with you? I can tell you’re just teasing… at least I think so.”</p>
<p>Jack felt sick again, but now it was for a different reason. “Mac, no, of course I’m just teasing,” he said, squeezing Mac’s hand very gently, cursing himself for every time he’d opened his big mouth and sounded like an asshole. “I’m sorry, I thought… hell, I don’t know what I thought, but it doesn’t matter. I won’t do it again.”</p>
<p>“It’s okay, Jack,” Mac said softly, giving him a small smile. “Like I said, I don’t… I don’t mind when it’s you.” He rubbed Jack’s hand with his thumb and looked like he was getting lost in his thoughts. “You… you’re different than the others, you know. You never left even though you… you could’ve.”</p>
<p>“I didn’t leave because I didn’t want to,” Jack murmured, and just that little touch of Mac’s thumb against his hand sent sparks dancing down his spine. “Remember when we got discharged and I tried going back to Texas? Made it all of three weeks before I stopped kidding myself into believing I wasn’t missing you like a lost limb. That and the PTSD was so bad…” He shook his head. “I’d look around for you and you weren’t there, and it scared me half to death. At least if I was in the same city I could convince myself you were safe.”</p>
<p>“You moved your entire life to LA for… for me? To make sure I was okay?” Mac asked slowly, disbelief lacing his voice. “You never told me that. You said you needed a fresh start and didn’t want your family to see you being a mess.” He paused. “You have no idea how happy I was when you called me. I couldn’t… it was hard without you. Bozer had no idea how to help me, and all I needed was… was you.”</p>
<p>“Jesus, kid,” Jack whispered, and he just couldn’t take it anymore. The truth was ready to explode out of him like a chestburster from <em>Alien</em> and there was nothing Jack could do to stop it. “I wasn’t lying, I really didn’t want my family to see that side of me, but of course I needed to know you were okay… I was in love with you. I still am, actually.” He leaned away and started to disentangle their hands. “And I know that’s probably not something you wanna hear from me, but it’s the truth, and you deserve it after this whole mess.”</p>
<p>Mac froze completely and his grip on Jack’s hand tightened, making it impossible to pull away. “Am I… am I seriously that high that I’m hallucinating right now?” he whispered, and that’s not what Jack expected him to say at all. Mac squeezed his hand even tighter, as if he wanted to make sure Jack was real, and then he swallowed hard. “I didn’t… I had no idea. If I’d known—God, everything would’ve been so much easier.”</p>
<p>“Easier?” Jack repeated, because… that didn’t make any sense. He tried to work through it in his head, but finally he had to ask. “How would me being in love with you have made anything easier, unless… no.” He stopped, shaking his head. “No, Mac, there’s no way… why would you want that with me?”</p>
<p>The look on Mac’s face softened and there was so much affection in it that Jack suddenly couldn’t breathe. “Why not?” he asked quietly. “You’re… you’re amazing, and funny, and smart—don’t argue with me, we both know you just like playing dumb. You’re also so stupidly hot it’s not fair.” He smiled, but his eyes were nervous. “And you… you stayed. Over and over again, you… stayed. The first time you did that, in the Sandbox? I fell right away.”</p>
<p>“You’re killing me, darlin’,” Jack murmured, and he brought his free hand up again, brushing the backs of his fingers across Mac’s cheek.</p>
<p>His heart felt like it was going to explode in his chest, but it was a good feeling, all the love he was holding back for so long finally free. He leaned into it when Mac’s hand came up to cup the back of his neck and tug him closer, and then their lips were pressed together in a soft kiss. Mac smelled and tasted like a hospital but that was okay, Jack didn’t mind in the slightest. A part of him wanted to kiss harder, pull Mac closer, but he forced himself to keep it slow and chaste. It was hard since he’d been hiding his feelings for so many years and a part of him wanted everything right now, but another part realized that… they had <em>time</em>. Now that it was out in the open they had time to explore it, and Jack couldn’t wait.</p>
<p>After a moment Mac pulled back, but only a little, his hand still resting against Jack’s neck. “Jack, I’m…” he whispered, his breath warm. “I love you. So much.”</p>
<p>“I love you too,” Jack replied, just as quietly, his fingers carding through Mac’s hair. At Mac’s insistence he helped him move over so there was enough room in the bed for both of them. Then he clambered on to the mattress and wrapped his arms around Mac, keeping his grip gentle and shivering a little when Mac tilted his head to press his lips to Jack’s jaw. “You’re amazing, baby. And I’m… <em>so</em> happy you didn’t tell me to fuck off just now.”</p>
<p>“I would never,” Mac murmured against his skin. “This is… I’ve been dreaming about this for so long, but I never thought there was a chance in hell you’d feel the same way.” He sounded like he couldn’t believe this was actually happening and Jack could relate. “So I just… I just pushed it all back and decided that I’d be happy as long as I got to have you in my life. Even if it was just as a friend.”</p>
<p>“I did the exact same thing,” Jack told him, chuckling a little. “Wow, we’re idiots.” He cupped Mac’s cheek and pulled him in for another kiss, long and slow. “And I fully intend to make up for lost time as soon as you’re feeling better. Well, better without the drugs—right now I’m sure you’re just dandy.” He pressed his lips to Mac’s forehead next, dropping his hand to the side of his neck to feel the reassuring thrum of his pulse.</p>
<p>Mac let out a pleased sigh, shifting so he could snuggle against Jack’s side, resting his head on Jack’s shoulder. “Right now I’m amazing,” he said, making another happy sound when Jack kissed his hair and started stroking his arm with his hand. “Nothing hurts and you’re very comfortable.” Jack chuckled again at that, giving Mac a careful squeeze. “You have any idea how hard it was not to cuddle you when we fell asleep on my couch together? I’ve wanted to do this for ages,” Mac muttered, looking at Jack. “So… once I’m better, what do you wanna do? To make up for lost time?” His voice sounded casual, but his eyes glinted mischievously.</p>
<p>Jack felt himself flush, and it was far too easy to give into temptation and kiss Mac on the mouth again. His neck wasn’t a fan of the angle, but oh well. “Everything,” he muttered against Mac’s lips, nipping the lower one lightly. “Anything you want, it’s yours. Especially if it involves a bed and being naked.”</p>
<p>Mac pressed himself closer, sliding his arm across Jack’s middle, fingertips slipping under his blood-crusted t-shirt to brush against Jack’s skin. “I can’t wait. Just one question… does it always have to be a bed? Because I can get pretty creative in that department.”</p>
<p>“While you’re still healing up, yeah, it has to be a bed,” Jack said, pinching Mac’s arm lightly when he rolled his eyes. “But later on… yeah, I think we could work out something more athletic.”</p>
<p>Mac gave him a smile that Jack quickly recognized as the one that appeared when Mac was about to blow something up. “Mhmm, that’s gonna be fun,” he said, hugging Jack tighter. “I’m pretty flexible, in case you didn’t know.”</p>
<p>Jack shut his eyes and thought of Grandma Dalton in her bathing suit. “You’re gonna be the death of me,” he declared, burying his face in Mac’s hair. “But I’ll die happy.”</p>
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